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by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04e15 Inauguration: Over There, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-27
Updated: 2003-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh's thoughts during the inauguration as they relate to one Donnatella Moss.





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**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**More**

**by:** Anon

**Character(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance  
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** I don’t own these characters.  
**Summary:** Josh’s thoughts during the inauguration as they relate to one Donnatella Moss.  
**Spoiler:** “Inauguration: Part I” and “Inauguration: Over There”  
**Author's Note:** Much of this is taken directly from the two-parter, “Inauguration Part I  & Over There.”  My hope is that you won’t be able to tell where Sorkin ends and I begin.  That’s not an easy task.  If you have not seen either of the “Inauguration” episodes, this might not make sense. 

This has been the longest day of the year.  I’m beat.

“Anyone playing at Iota tonight?” I ask, fully stretched out on Toby’s office couch.

“I don’t know, let’s just go.  Ask CJ,” Toby responds standing up.

I invite Will to join us, which is odd for me because I don’t like new people.  Will’s not only new, he’s temporary, so my invitation shocks even me.  Still, he’s in the room with us when I mention the club, so I figure I might as well tell him about it.  It doesn’t surprise me when he decides to stay at work, then turn in early.  I should do the same, but I’m sick of the walls around me.

I stop by CJ’s desk to find she’s packing up for the evening.

“Hey, Toby and I are headed to Iota.  Any idea who’s playing?”

“Uh, I think it’s Jill Souble tonight.  She’s good,” she says.

“You coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you guys there.”

Walking the few steps back into my office, I breeze by Donna’s empty desk.  She was fuming when she left tonight.  I tried to be sensitive about Jack’s transfer, but she missed it.  Ok, so I was insensitive and gloating.  She didn’t miss that part.  The truth is, I’m glad Jack’s leaving.  The way Donna brags about him makes me ill.  Thirteen buttons and a saber...please.

We have this thing where we try to make each other jealous.  It’s all just a game, so my jealousy isn’t real; it’s just part of the game...He took her to the Washington Inn.  I could be jealous about the fact that: number one, he got a reservation at that inn and number two, he was spending two nights with a cheery, holiday-spirit-filled Donnatella.  But I’m not.

I roll my sleeves back down and throw on my coat.  I grab my backpack as I walk out, then I stop in my tracks.  I don’t turn around; rather, I back peddle slowly toward my phone.  Dialing the number, I wait for the other end to answer.

“Hi, this is Donna.  I’m not in right now, so please leave a message and I’ll get back with you as soon as possible.  Beep.”

“Hey, it’s me...I called to point out the fact that you called me, ‘sir,’ today, Donna.  Don’t think I didn’t notice.  It’s about time you showed me some respect,” I say trying to add humor to my apology.  “Listen, I’m sorry that you left so angry.  Toby, CJ, and I are going to Iota.  Meet us there.  I’ll try your cell.”

“Let’s go!” I hear outside my office.

“I’ll meet you guys there, Toby.  I’ll just be a minute,” I yell back, placing the phone in the cradle as if I was doing something wrong.  Once I know Toby’s out of earshot, I pick up the receiver again to dial Donna’s cell.

“You’ve reached Donna’s cell.  Leave a message.  Thanks.  Beep.”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you that you shouldn’t say your name on your voicemail.  You say it on your home phone too.  It’s a safety thing...Anyway, it’s Josh. I left a message for you at home.  We’re headed to Iota.  It won’t be a long night, just a couple of drinks.  We should talk.”

I turn off my desk lamp and leave the building.  As I back out of my parking spot, I decide to call Donna at Jack’s.  I realize that might not be a good idea on several levels, but I think she’d want me to call her.  She always tells me to call her if I need her.  Technically, I don’t need her, but still.

You might wonder why I have Jack’s number and how I got it.  The ‘how I got it’ part is simple: I know people.  I’m the third most powerful man in the country.  Phone numbers and addresses are a piece of cake.  (Mental note: take Janice from Human Resources to lunch.)  The reason I got Jack’s number in the first place is because he and Donna have been spending a lot of time together, so I figured in case of an emergency, I might need to track her down.  Sometimes she leaves her cell phone at home and her pager off.  (Mental note 2: tell Donna that it’s mandatory to have at least one electronic communication device with her and ON at all times.)

Jack’s machine picks up.  I hang up, grinding my teeth subconsciously.

Hell, I should page her too.

***

When I walk in the bar, CJ and Toby are pacing like buzzards around a table close to the front that a couple is about to vacate.

I spot Cynthia, our regular cocktail waitress, approaching the table.

“Tang and Tonic,” CJ orders with a smile.

“Uh, two.  Cynthia, I left a message for Donna.  She might call.”

“Sure,” Cynthia says as she strides off to get our drinks.  We tip her well, so I’m really looking forward to the strong gin and tonic that I know she’ll have the bartender pour. 

I pretend to enjoy myself by grooving a little to the live music while CJ and Toby discuss fighting for humanitarian reasons.  I’m done talking about work for the evening.  D-O-N-E.  And if they stop bickering for a minute, I’m gonna bring up Donna and Jack.  It’s always nice to hear what others have to say about relationships.  Of course, I never listen to what others say about relationships, but if the name “Donna” is involved, I might.

“...If we’re about freedom from tyranny, then we’re about freedom from tyranny and if not, we should shut up,” CJ states.

“Yes,” I say, meaning that they actually should shut up.

One and a half drinks later, CJ excuses herself to use the restroom while Toby and I chat about the humanitarian stuff.  Hey, I have to at least pretend to be interested in something other than where my assistant is at the moment.

“Where the hell is Donna?” I ask with no segue.  So much for pretending.

“Leave her alone.  She’s having a last night with...what’s his name?” Toby honestly has no clue what Jack’s name is.

“I called her at Jack’s and I paged her.”  I don’t tell him that I left a message for her at home and on her cell phone too, but that’s beside the point.

“Leave her alone,” Toby says again.

Like hell I will.  Again, words Toby doesn’t need to hear.

CJ approaches in a pissy mood, and it turns out that we all have to go back to work.  Thank God I didn’t finish the second drink.

***

The President just announced that we’re going to most likely ‘free the world from tyranny,’ to quote CJ.  Great, more work, no Donna.

Speaking of Donna, CJ corners Toby and I to tell us about an article that Danny was working on that will appear in _The Washington Post_ tomorrow.  (The day of the President’s inauguration, in case you’re wondering.)  Turns out, someone on my staff gave a damning quote to a researcher.

“What was the quote,” I ask, not too concerned yet.

CJ repeats the quote from memory, “Everyone is very loyal to everyone else around here, unless you wear a uniform.”

“I know it sounds like it was Donna ‘cos of the situation with Jack, but there’s no way she gives that quote to a reporter,” I say starting to get agitated at CJ’s insinuations.

“She didn’t think she was on the record,” CJ says.

“There’s no way she said that,” I state, now kind of upset that CJ is actually accusing Donna of betraying this administration.

“She did.  She just called me and told me she did, which I give her credit for.”

I feel like I’ve just been punched in the stomach.  “You do?”

Toby decides to chime in to defend Donna as best he can.  “Heat of the moment, bad timing.”

“Ya think?” I say with my mouth wide open, not believing Donna’s audacity.  “I don’t have time for this now.  Neither do you.”  With that, I storm back to my office and slam my door.

It’s after midnight, I’m halfway drunk, and my assistant is not present.  To get me back for being a callous jackass, she tells a researcher that the White House doesn’t respect men in uniform.  I’m batting a thousand.

This pisses me off.  Really pisses me off.  She made me feel like a fool in front of Toby and CJ when I defended her about the quote.  The thing is, I’d go to bat for Donna any day, and nine times out of ten, Donna’s the one who comes out on top, which in turn, makes me come out on top.

We’ve all got an extremely busy night ahead, and tomorrow is going to be even longer than today.  With eight inaugural balls, I’ll be lucky to be home by 2 am.  Backtracking, I think about what time I should be at work tomorrow, and I realize that I might as well stay up through the night.

***

It’s nearing 2:30 am, and I have gotten absolutely nothing done.  The President is changing foreign policy, and I’m stewing over Donna’s quote.  There’s a little bitty part of me that doesn’t believe she said it.  It’s hard for me to fathom Donna betraying this administration - betraying me.

I’ve picked up the telephone to call her four times since CJ told us about the quote.  The first time, CJ stopped me and advised me to cool down.  The second time, I remembered her words and hung up before I finished dialing.  The third time I was interrupted by Toby’s yelling and pacing outside my office.

I wait until CJ and Toby are gone when I pick up the phone a fourth time.  I’ve gotta get this straight.  I have to talk to Donna.

No answer again on any of her phones.  I take this as a sign, and I leave the office in hopes of getting three hours of sleep.

***

A ringing phone wakes me up at 6:09 am.  I think I just fell asleep 20 minutes ago.

“Hello,” I say trying to find my voice.  I clear my throat.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?” Leo is obviously upset and walking while talking on his cell phone.

“About what?” I say sitting up and scratching my head.

“The article in _The Post_ , Josh!” he’s yelling in my ear at 6:09 am.  Scratch that, 6:10 am.

“I thought CJ would’ve mentioned it.”

“CJ’s my next call...who did this?  Who gave Danny this quote?”

“You should probably talk to CJ,” I say not wanting to blame Donna despite knowing the truth.  I can’t bring myself to do it.

“Fine.  Meet me at the capitol well before the ceremony.”

Leo hangs up.

That’s how I love to be woken on a Sunday morning.  Forget the newspaper and a hot cup of coffee, I’ll take a verbal beating from my boss.  My head hurts already.

After showering, eating a stale blueberry bagel (I have no idea how it got into my kitchen), and getting halfway dressed, I decide to call Donna.  I’m rehearsing what I’ll say as I pull the tags off my new, tailored suit.

“Donna, hey it’s me.  CJ told me about the quote that you gave to a researcher for _The Post_.  I’m sorry that you were that angry.  We should talk.”

No, that won’t work.  How about this, “Hi Donna.  Have you read _The Post_ yet this morning?  Anything catch your eye?”

Still no good.  What about this, “Donna, it’s me.  I can’t believe you said this!  What were you thinking?”

Crap.  Maybe I’ll wing it.  I’ll call her and tell her whatever comes to mind.  I never think before I speak anyway.  She’ll understand.

I dial the number to her apartment while I impatiently walk around my bedroom.  On the third ring, she picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey.  Did I wake you?”  I didn’t expect my voice to be so soft.

“No, I’ve been awake for a couple of hours.”

“Did you get the messages I left for you last night?”  Might as well ease my way into this.  Lecturing Donna (and meaning it) isn’t exactly sport for me.

“Yeah.  I was busy...I couldn’t see you last night, Josh.”

Translation: she was with Jack.  I’ll ignore that part and focus on the second part.  She COULDN’T see me last night?  Why not?

“Why not?”

She sighs, “Because.”

“Because you had to be with Jack?” I ask with a bitterness that wasn’t there a second ago.

“No.  Because I didn’t want to...I didn’t want to face you after the thing.”

“What thing, Donna?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know.  _The Post_ article, Josh.”

She’s looking at her feet.  I can tell.  Even on the phone she can’t look me in the eye, so to speak, when she’s done something wrong.

“Donna, I know you were upset about Jack’s reassignment, but venting to a reporter is not the way to handle your frustration.”

“He was a researcher.”

“Whatever. You’re quoted as bashing this administration.  The administration that you work for.  Not to mention the timing of all this...Donna, this isn’t just a slap on the wrist.  This is the kind of stuff that gets you reprimanded.  Leo’s gonna want to talk to you.”

“I know.”

That’s it.  That’s all she says.  God, I hate this.  I want to throw my arms around her right now and tell her that she did a stupid thing, but in the end, it’ll be ok.  I blame Jack for this.  Jack who doesn’t even appreciate stories about Donna’s silly but full life.  Jack who’s probably sitting inches away from her while she’s on the phone with me.

My pager vibrates off my bedside table.  I pick it up and read the number:  Toby.

“Toby’s paging me,” I say more to myself than to Donna.

“I’m sorry Josh.”

“Just get to the capitol as soon as you can.  This is a big day.”

“I know.  Goodbye.”

“Bye.”  I hang up the phone, drop my hands, and shake my head.

With a deep breath - in and out - I dial Toby’s number.

“We need you.  Get down here.”

“I’m on my way.”

***

I arrive at the capitol early, just as I promised Leo.  As I walk through the corridors and a couple of rooms, I look for Donna.  I ask a few people if they’ve seen her, but no one has.  Maybe she’s running a little late.

The President stops me, and we have a brief conversation about him being sworn in on the _Sports Illustrated_ Swimsuit edition.  I love this man.

Leo spots me and my new suit.

“Nice suit,” Leo’s tone is less severe than it was on the phone at 6:09 am.

“Hey Leo, can you tell me anything about what happened to Jack Reese?”

Yes, I’m still focused on Donna’s quote amidst the President’s inauguration and the huge change in foreign policy.

“The President asked him to get a Force Depletion Report under the radar.”

“On Kundu?”

“Yeah.”

“And someone found out?”

“Hutchison.  It was my fault, which doesn’t excuse it,” Leo says, realizing where I’m getting with this line of questioning.

“I don’t excuse it,” I respond.

“I don’t know how she could do that; I really don’t.  I mean, I don’t wanna talk about it now, but do you suppose her timing could’ve been any worse?”

“I told her all that in no uncertain terms.”

“I’ll be telling her too.”

“She knows,” I say, worried that Leo might be harsher on her than I was this morning.

“Good,” he says.

“She’s not here.  I can’t find her.  I don’t think she’s coming...I’ll find out where Charlie is.”

With that, I walk off looking for Charlie, a Bible, and a blonde headed woman with a regretful expression on her face.

***

The inauguration went better than anyone expected, and Will’s speech was great.  I’m talking prize-winning, audience-clapping brilliant.  Toby mentioned that he was going to ask Leo for a permanent spot for Will in the office.  After that speech, I think Will wrote his ticket to a lifetime of job opportunities.

At the first of the eight inaugural balls, I corner the speech writer.  “That was pretty good, Will.”

“Oh, thanks.  That means a lot.”

“I haven’t heard a speech like that in four years.”

“You mean, Toby?”

“Yeah, Toby and Sam wrote a killer speech the first time around.  But this one was better.”

“I don’t know about that,” Will says, blushing and pushing up his glasses.

“It was harder.  You had to tackle major issues, things that we didn’t have to worry about four years ago.  Seriously, Will, it was eloquent.”

CJ threw her arm around Will’s shoulder.  “Will, that was spectacular!”

And so the beginning of the evening went.  I pulled out my cell phone every half hour to see if Donna called.  Ok, so it was more like every ten minutes.  Five minutes.  Fine, every three minutes.  Still, no one had heard from nor seen Donna.

I tried staying in the background as much as possible.  No one seemed to be looking for me anyway.  I’d heard that Amy was on the prowl, but that made me want to hide even more.

Finally, I gave in and did what I wanted to do all day.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.  Why aren’t you here?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Donna, you’re a part of this administration no matter what.  People expected you to be here.  In good times and in bad, isn’t that how it goes?”

“Have you been drinking, Josh?”

Busted.  “I...I’m on my second drink.”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be there right now.”

“We’ll deal with all that tomorrow.  The President is just beginning his second term.  Come celebrate with him.”

“I doubt he’d want to see me.”

“Come on Donna!” I’m begging, I realize.  “What are you doing right now?”

“I’m watching commentary on the speech on, like, five different channels.”

“Who has the best coverage?”

“You mean which news organization is saying the nicest things about your boss?”

“Our boss,” I correct her.  “Donna, you should be here.  Are you dressed?  I can come get you.”

“I’m in my ball gown as if I’m there, Josh.  I don’t want you to come get me.”

“Last chance, Donnatella.”

“Enjoy the night.  Celebrate.  I’ll let you know if we should send flowers to CNN.”

“I miss you.”  I swear, that just popped out.

“Bye, Josh.”

Damn it!  She makes me feel too many emotions at once.  Time for another drink.

***

I’m on my third scotch when Danny comes waltzing up to me.

“Sorry about the story yesterday,” he says after clinking my glass in a toast.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I say with a sincere grin.  I’ve known Danny for a long time, and I know he wouldn’t have printed that quote without a clear indication from Donna that she wanted it to appear just as it did.

“Where is she?”

“Donna?” I ask just to be sure that I’m not about to make a huge fool of myself.

“Yeah.”

“She’s sitting in her apartment in a ball gown.”

“Waiting for a ball to come over?”

“She doesn’t think it’s appropriate for her to be here.  I couldn’t talk her down.”

“How hard did you try?”

“I tried hard.”

Does he honestly think I didn’t all but get down on my knees and beg her to come to the ball?  I would’ve, ya know.  These formal events give me an excuse to dance with Donna.  You think I want to miss a single opportunity to hold her close to me and smell her hair and touch her skin?  Hardly.

“She didn’t think she was on the record.  I’m not sure my editor knew that when...”

“...doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought the balance of the piece was...”

“I haven’t read it.  Sorry, I haven’t.”

Reading the article this morning would’ve just added salt to the wound.  I didn’t need to see in words what I felt in my, you know.  It was like a knife.

“Well, I got a copy of it here if you wanna...”

“You walk around with a copy?”

“I think parts of it are pretty good.  Hey, when you won a Fulbright Scholarship, you taped the letter to your face.”

That I did...I grab the article from him browsing to see the infamous quote.  “Yeah, here it is. ‘Said one White House aide, we’ve got a situation...”

Danny eyes me, “The point actually was to read all the other parts.”

I eye him right back.  Does he think I’m interested in the actual article?  I keep reading the quote, “where the White House won’t give the D.O.D. an extra ten billion, so they have to go to the Hill to get it.  Said the same aide, ‘Everybody is very loyal around here, unless you wear a uniform.’

Huh.  “Said the same aide?  I hadn’t read the first part of the quote.  Said the same aide?...I’m gonna kill her.”

***

At this very moment, I can almost guarantee that I am the happiest man in the building.  I’m so happy that I put my arm around Danny’s shoulder and guide him to the bar where I spot Will, Toby, and Charlie.  Perfect.

“Boys, we have a mission,” I say as I approach the group.

“When’s the last time you played ‘good cop/bad cop?’”

“You’re going to have to stop talking in Navajo,” Toby says.

“Donna didn’t give that quote.”

They all look confused.

“I have it right here in my hands, Josh, you just read it,” Danny points out.

“I hadn’t read the top of the quote.  Donna has no way of knowing ANYTHING about money for the D.O.D.  She doesn’t deal at all with the D.O.D...Give it to me, Danny.”

I grab the article out of his hands again and proceed to read the entire quote.

“Huh,” Toby mumbles.

“Then why did Donna confess to CJ?” Will asks.

“She’s covering for him,” I say, but Toby and Charlie have already figured it out.

“Who’s ‘him,’” Will asks.

“Let’s take a ride, shall we?”

I motion for everyone to join me outside, and I hail a cab.

“This is ridiculous,” Toby announces.

“Come on, Toby, I need you here for moral support.”

“You’ve got like 12 other people in this cab for moral support!”

Toby likes Donna.  I’ve always known that.  He’s just making a ruckus for show.  If you remember correctly, he was the first to defend Donna when CJ told us about the quote.

“Sit back, boys, and let me explain to Will who ‘HIM’ is.”

I tell Will all about Jack, and the men in the backseat roll their eyes and chuckle like Will’s missing something.  Will’s smart, he can figure it out. I might not be able to, but I’m sure he can.

***

We pull up to Donna’s apartment, and I yell for her to come down.  That’s when I decide that it would be a great idea to throw snowballs at her second story window.  The others follow my lead, and within a minute, seven snowballs bang against her glass.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Donna yells while opening her window.

“Get down here, now!”

“Keep your voice down!”

“Don’t even think about telling me where to keep my voice, get down here!”

After answering to some pissy neighbors, I jog toward Donna, noticing her bare arms.

“You come down here without a coat?”

“I need you to keep your voice down!”

I drape my overcoat over her shoulders.

“Go ahead, you’re entitled, give it all to me again.”

I take a deep breath, “You don’t know that the White House rejected ten billion for the D.O.D.  You have absolutely no way of knowing that...Jack said it.”  I nod my head, looking for affirmation, “The researcher called Jack, and Jack said it.”

“He was working a lot of nights, and it really wore him out.”

“Yeah?”

“And then this thing happened.  He didn’t think he was on the record.”

“Donna!”

“He didn’t Josh, that was legitimate.”

“And he’s letting you take the credit for this?”

“Listen, this guy has an important career ahead of him.”

“Your career isn’t important?  What was the point of anyone claiming...” my voice just got really high.  Wait, I got it.  I know why she agreed to this, “you knew that it was easy to figure out it was him.”

“Not as easy as you made it.”

She sighs, “I didn’t think about the top of the quote...”

I begin pacing, becoming more animated.

“The LIST of things you didn’t think about: including your job, what the President thinks of you.”

“He knows about this?”

“He’s about to.”

I’m about to continue my tirade when it hits me.  Wow.

“You look amazing.”

I’m speechless and breathless.  This woman just stole two of the most vital parts of me.  She stares at me for a moment until her face breaks into a smile.  It’s the first time I’ve seen her smile in over 24 hours.  And that makes me even more speechless and breathless.  I literally cannot move my mouth from its halfway open position.

Donna turns her eyes away from me for a second, “Hi guys!” she says to my compadres in the snow, “sorry about all this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” this from the man who claimed he didn’t want to come along.

“It was stupid but it was menschy,” says Danny.

“Hey, hey, hey, good cop/bad cop, remember?”  Ahh, I finally regain the speech part.  As for the breathless part, I’m working on it.

“Sorry, it was just stupid,” Danny chimes in again.

“Hey, Will, you and Toby wrote maybe the greatest speech I’ve ever heard.”

“Thank you very much!”  Will says.

My turn, guys, you don’t get to do all the talking.  “We’re going to a ball tonight!”

“Balls are fun,” she says with a sparkle in her eyes.

“We’re actually going to eight of ‘em.”

“Eight times the fun.”

This is what I missed.  It’s only been 24 hours, but I’d rather be unconscious than not have ‘this’ with Donna. Uh-oh, VulnerableJosh just made an appearance.  I better bring the arrogance.

“I was actually the one who hit the window.  The rest of them went to school on my throw.”

“LET’S GOOO,” Toby, ever the romantic, yells.

Donna looks at me like I’m crazy, then hooks her arm in mine.  I smile at the others with an “I told you so” look on my face.

“How ya doing, Charlie?” Donna asks.

“Well, I’m going to win Zoey’s heart from Jean-Paul.”

“Excellent!” Donna says.

“Cause he may be good-looking and rich and well schooled and French royalty, and live basically in a castle but...Oh God!”

“This is what I’ve been telling you,” Toby chides as he tells Charlie to get in the cab.

“Josh,” Donna whispers when the others are piled in the taxi, “I’m sorry.  Seriously, I’ve never lied to you before, boss, and it won’t happen again.”

I look at her, letting her sincere apology soak in.  There’s something about her tonight, and I’m not referring to her curled hair, that makes her shine.  Maybe it’s her vulnerability or her honesty or the fact that she wants to be with me tonight.

I have to think of something to tell her that will one, make her laugh and two, allow her to be near me.

“You’re going to have to sit on someone’s lap,” I say with a smirk.

“Okay,” she responds, walking toward the cab.

Danny snags the front seat, and the driver already told us, in his thick Indian accent, that no more than one passenger is allowed in the front.  So I help Donna get in the back, which is already a tight squeeze with Will, Charlie, and Toby sardined in there.

“Sorry!” Donna says as she puts her weight on one hand trying to balance so that I can get in and shut the door.

“Alright, I’m in,” I state as my arms immediately reach for Donna to bring her unstable body on top of me.  Well, mostly me.  Her butt is on my lap, but her back is pressed against Will’s side.  Will’s nice; he’s the new guy.  Just as long as he keeps his hands to himself, everything will be just fine.

“So, Charlie, who’s Jean-Paul?” Will begins.

The four of them discuss Charlie’s love life, which gives me a moment alone with Donna.

“Hi,” I say by way of re-introduction.

“Hi.”

“I think from here on out you’re gonna have to call me ‘Wild Thing.’”

“You’d just love that, wouldn’t you?”

We smile at each other, getting used to being ‘us’ again.

“You saw the speech?” I ask.

“Yeah.  I taped it in case, you know.”

“You taped it for me?”

She nods and brushes a curl out of her face.  I grab it from her hand and tuck it behind her ear.

“I was worried,” I whisper.  The others don’t need to be a part of this conversation.

“That I wouldn’t tape it?”

“No,” that causes me to chuckle, “I didn’t think you would betray us...betray me like that.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“But you did,” I state rather harshly.

Donna looks at her hands in her lap.  “I am truly sorry, Josh.  That’s all I’ve got.”

“I know.  It’s a hard lesson to learn.”

“What lesson is that?” she asks.

“To be true to yourself no matter what.  And that honesty is the best policy.  There’s probably four million clichés I could throw at you right now.”

“But you won’t,” Donna says more as a warning to me.

“No.  I’m just glad we got that straight.”

I put both my arms around her and squeeze enough for it to be defined as a hug.  She places her head on mine for one second, then picks it up knowing we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing, even though it’s a simple matter of congestion.

I avert my glance from her as I say, “I’m sorry about Jack.”

She takes a deep breath, “Thank you.  I’m not sure where that whole thing was headed.  He hates snow skiing, and he never really cared for my trivia.”

“And he’s a Republican,” I add.

“Yeah, there’s that,” she says with a huge smile.  “All I know is that I’m where I want to be right now.”

“On my lap?” 

“Again with the funny,” she says.

“I wasn’t trying to be.” I was THEN, but now, not so much.

She rests her forehead against mine and closes her eyes.

I close mine for a few seconds as well, relishing in the fact that Donna is back where she belongs.

***

When the cab lets us out at the second ball, we all pile out and I pay the driver.  I take Donna by the hand as we proceed toward the door.

“Ok, Donna and I are going to find CJ.  I’d appreciate it if one of you leaks this to Leo.”  I amend my statement, “all except the part about the cab.”

“By ‘the part about the cab’ you mean the entire Operation Rescue Donna?” Charlie asks.

“Exactly.”

“I need a drink,” Toby says as he walks inside and makes a beeline for the bar.

“Come on, Donna,” I say taking off her coat (my coat, which I’m happy to say will now smell like Donnatella Moss) and checking it in.  I swipe two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter.

“There she is,” Donna says, pointing to the press secretary across the room.

I pull Donna by the hand behind me toward CJ, taking a few sips of liquid courage as I approach her.

“Donna!”  CJ exclaims as she spots my assistant behind me.

“Hi CJ,” Donna says, still embarrassed by the situation.

I launch into the whole story about Jack and the quote, and five minutes later, CJ is hugging Donna.  CJ’s drunk, but a drunk CJ is a happy CJ, so I’m not complaining.

“The quote’s still out there, Donna, but I’m glad it wasn’t you,” she says.

“I’m sorry, CJ.  It won’t happen again,” Donna says.

“We’re gonna dance now, CJ, if you’d excuse us.”

“Josh, we shouldn’t.  I mean, we have more important things to worry about,” Donna protests.

I pull her by the hand onto the dance floor.  “Not right now we don’t.  For the next three and a half minutes, or however long this badly-played Sinatra song lasts, we’re gonna dance.”

I glance back at her and notice her grin.  When I look ahead, I can see Leo, Toby, and Charlie talking in a far corner.  Toby’s got his hand on Leo’s shoulder, and Leo laughs a little while wiping his forehead with his hand.  I breathe a sigh of relief.

Donna stops me once we reach a suitable spot to dance.  I wrap one arm around her waist while the other takes her hand in mine, and we dance.  She huddles closer to me and puts her forehead against my cheek.  I instinctively close my eyes and adjust my hand on her lower back, giving her a firm, quick squeeze.

Leo watches us.  I don’t see him watching, but I know he is, and I don’t care.  I’m almost glad he sees us; sees this.  Leo’s a smart man.

The song is nearly over when Charlie approaches us, “I hate to interrupt, but the President needs you.”

I halfway release my grip on Donna and look at Charlie with a questioning expression.  We follow him to a back room, where the others are already gathered.

The President appoints Will deputy communications director, then he launches into the reasons why we need to stop the violence in Kundu.

“Sorry everybody, but this is a work night,” he finishes.

We all proceed out while the laughter and dancing around us continues.

***

Once we’re back at the office, I ask Donna to pull some reports for me while I begin feverishly working on plans to converse with the House about why we’re basically going to war.

Donna steps in my office.  “That’s why you got me, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“You came to get me tonight because you knew we’d have to work and you can’t fathom working without me.”

“You uncovered my plan,” I say with a smirk.

She stands closer to my desk.  I can tell there’s more on her mind.

“I didn’t stay at Jack’s last night.”

A feeling a relief runs over me, but I’m not going to shout “thank God!”

“Ok,” I ask more than I say, begging her for clarification.

“After I called CJ and told her about the quote, I left.”

“Why?”

I stand to walk around my desk so we can be face to face.  Donna looks at her feet.

“I felt...”

“Used?”

She looks at me for a mere instant, appearing upset at my choice of word.

“I felt guilty.  Guilty that I’d taken the side of a man I’d known for a couple of months versus a man I’ve known for five years.”

“Donna,” I say picking her hand up in mine.

She tucks a strand of curly hair behind her ear.  “And my career IS important to me, Josh.  It’s the most important thing in my life.  I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that.  Not for this.  Not for Jack Reese.”

“I wouldn’t let you.  Not for any thing or any man,” I say softly.  I pick our joined hands up and place them against my chest.  “We’ve come too far to throw it all away.”

She knows what I’m saying.  As hard as this is, she knows that she and I can’t be together the way we’d both like to.  Scratch that - the way we’d both love to.  But there will be more moments like tonight - the good times.  There will be more dances, more cab rides, and more late nights and long hours.

But in this moment, knowing what we both know and not being able to express it with words just about kills me.  I take a step closer to her, now inches away from her face.  Donna looks up at me hesitantly.

I kiss her.

It’s a chaste, closed-mouth kiss that lasts maybe five seconds. It’s reassurance.  It’s a promise that there’s more of this to come, but it can’t happen yet.

When I break the kiss, she smiles at me.  I reflect her expression.  She touches one of my dimples with her free hand, then her finger glides to my lips.  She lets it rest there for a second, then replaces it with her lips.  Her kiss is more intense than mine, and it lasts a little longer.  It says more than mine.  It says I’m sorry, but I thank you for your forgiveness.  It says I love you, but I can’t be with you right now.  It says thank you for being the man that you are.  It’s her promise to me that there’s so much more to come.

THE END

Note: I’m considering doing a story similar to this one with Donna’s point of view, but I’ll wait to hear feedback on this one.  If it’s good stuff, I’ll write the Donna part, but it’s going to take me a week or more since I’ll be without a computer for that amount of time.

Sequel: "More Part II"


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